Simple sex education
Basic sex education: This is the vital first step in effective treatment, leading to a successful outcome, in which the indi’ vidual or couple can enjoy ‘a satisfactory sexual experience’, rather than just get erections. Do not underestimate its impor tance and do not omit it.
Many men, including a large number of doctors, have a lamentably poor understanding of their sexuality and sexual function. Personal sex education is frequently delegated by parents to schools and tends to concentrate on reproductive biology, sexually transmitted diseases, and preventing unwanted pregnancy. We are not educated in how to enjoy our own sexual feelings, or in understanding our partner’s sexual needs and how we might best help them to fulfil them. Biology and Personal Development classes would probably be better attended if we did. Good role models are hard to find and, at present, most people learn from experience.
In addition to challenging the sexual myths mentioned earher, helping men to understand the normal changes in sexual responsiveness that occur with aging is important. As men and women get older, changes occur in their attitudes toward, and experience of, sex. These changes should not always be seen as health problems, or ‘getting old’, but part of a natural development of their sexuality that began in childhood and will continue throughout their lives. Older men often find that it takes longer for them to develop an erection. Young men often develop erections at the slightest sexually exciting thought or sight, which can be highly embarrassing for them. Older men, and their partners, often worry that they no longer get an erection when they think about sex or see their partner naked. They are convinced that this is a sign of serious illness or that they are becoming ‘impotent’. This is incorrect. Older men frequently require direct genital stimulation to achieve erection. It may take 5 or 10 minutes to develop, rather than seconds, as in their youth. In addition, they will often try and attempt intercourse before their erection is rigid, which is likely to result in penile buckling, loss of erection, and embarrassment. Drugs will probably deal with this problem, although achieving ‘cure’ through education must be the most desirable approach. Couples should be encouraged to enjoy the changes in sexual responsiveness that come with aging, rather than to simply fight against them. This does not mean that they must inevitably ‘give up’ on sharing sexual intimacy though.
If you feel that you are unable to address all of the necessary issues yourself, offer referral to a sexual and relationship therapist. However, some will refuse this and you may be their only source of appropriate sex education.
Tags: Basic Sex, Erection, Genital Stimulation, Good Role Models, Health Problems, Indi Vidual, Many Men, Older Men, Personal Development Classes, Personal Sex, Reproductive Biology, Sex Education, Sexual Experience, Sexual Feelings, Sexual Function, Sexual Myths, Sexual Needs, Sexual Responsiveness, Tance, Unwanted Pregnancy